So last night, darling bitchy bitch's friend came over. Jen, 20, pretty. And rebel boy scurried through our bedroom to the master bath to have a quick shower , change into his best 'boxer showing' jeans and 'I'm A Pimp' tshirt.
As he was mad dashing back through our room, leaving a cloud of cologne & teenaged testosterone behind, I thoughtfully watched his departure and wondered if I would be a bad Mom, throwing condoms at him.
Also, while I'm discussing the most (humiliating) every day happenings at Casa de Phat Mama..
I have IBS. Do y'all know what that is? Does anyone have it? (If so, please leave a comment so I don't feel so alone, and so everyone else knows your ass hurts.) It's Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Now before everyone shuts this window, here's a funny mixed with a health lesson:
When one (me) has IBS, they may eat a (1/2 a pan of lasagna) salad and also consume (3 bottles) a glass of wine and be fine. The next day, they might eat (the other half pan of lasagna) an apple.. and not be fine. Today is one of those not fine days. I'm reading all of your blogs from my throne (princess waves) and I daresay, it feels like Satan himself is giving me a rim job, my ring piece is burning so terribly.
The health lesson is this: Don't eat an entire lasagna (a salad, damnit!) and (3 bottles) a glass of wine or your ass will mount a full on revolt.
The overall lesson of the day is: Having to consider which size condoms to buy for your son so your fabulous 38 year old self isn't a Grandma too soon.. not priceless. At all. It will give you the shits too.
...and in the end
4 years ago