Monday, May 11, 2009

Chick Flick Epiphany

I was finally able to get a few hours off of work. Just enough that Big Daddy & I could make dinner for two, together. And then to watch a movie I have been -begging- him to watch with me, for months.

P.S. I Love You.

He's not much for chick flicks. Thus, the necessary begging. And a possible promise of my singing (and humming the instrumental sections) all 985,623 minutes of 'Stairway To Heaven' on his tool of menace.

*rubs chapstick onto her lips before continuing with this post*

He ended up really liking the movie. As do I. You know a movie is super good when tears burn your eyes like the smoke from a Marlboro, when your nose bubbles snot and your throat clogs with tears to the point that you suck a breath like a beached (whale) really cute, skinny fish.

Maybe that's why men don't want to watch them with us. -I have had an epiphany!- They know we will want some sweet lovin' when it's over and during the whole movie, they are looking over at us, tears, snot, hiccuped sobs, blotchy faces full of adoration as we slobber out how we love him just like Kate loves Leo.

Of course I would share the slab of ice floating in the frozen sea, Big Daddy! And when you (are shoved) fell off the side, just like you do our bed, because there's only room for Phat Mama, my 'heart might go on' but I would be inconsolable for a good while. At least until I got the insurance check from the dickheads that said Titanic couldn't sink.

Anyway. Yes, my epiphany is that men may not want to chick flick with their beloved woman because she is giving him lovestruck, teary 'fuck me' eyes while snot is rolling from her nose to her trembling lower lip.

So we were watching P.S. I Love You & I sat there thinking to myself - God, please let me go first (like in 40 years or so - no rush, really) because I could not bear to live without him. He is every best moment of my life.

*makes moo eyes at Big Daddy & snuffles up dripping snot - I'm in the mood, lets make out.*

17 comments:

bluntdelivery said...

uh. love. that. movie. seriously... girard butler... could he be any more hot?

diane said...

I never thought of this, but I bet you're right.

mo.stoneskin said...

dammit you're probably right...

Paula said...

omg.. I love that movie. I even told Kaykay to watch it. She did. Then she did not speak to me for a few days. She said I damaged her making her watch it... and making her cry so hard. Okay.. I told her she would need tissues. I probably should have suggested a whole box. My bad. =\

I still think it rocks. =]

J.J. in L.A. said...

I'll have to check out that movie. If you like chick flicks, you need to rent 'Always'. It's an old one, with Holly Hunter and Richard Dreyfuss.

Holy Crappers said...

Good Movie !!

#1

otherworldlyone said...

Great movie...better book.

See, this is why I read you...you have all the answers to the questions I never think to ask!

Well, that and the redneck jokes.

Dominica said...

I'm coming over with a box of Kleenex, the soft and scented ones....

Divine Chaos said...

I will Never.Ever. watch that movie again. Ever. I cried through the whole fucking movie, the WHOLE thing! I was already hormonal .. that damned movie nearly killed me. sheesh!

Comedy Goddess said...

Very clever hypothesis! And a great movie.

Stairway to Heaven?! you are in love!

for a different kind of girl said...

I've not watched the movie because, honestly, I read the book years ago, by accident, I think, and I hated it! Maybe I'll rethink the whole movie, though!

The last movie I watched that made me cry was Marley & Me, and I was irritated that it had sucked me in, so maybe that explains why Tool Man didn't come on to me afterward. I was a blubbering, irritated mess!

erin said...

No offense to you, but I hate that shit. The closest thing to a chick flick that I've seen since I was a teenager is The Family Stone. But there's sex and pot in that, so it doesn't count.
Don't get me wrong, I'm madly in love with Jeremiah and am completely obsessed with him, I just would rather look at him with fuck me eyes and no snot or weeping. ;)

Dr Zibbs said...

He watched that? He must love you.

~Sheila~ said...

My husband watches Medium with me. Total chick series. I guilt him into it. I tell him that I have been saving them on DVR so we can watch them together.
He usually caves.

When we first met. I made him rent and watch BAPS with me.
Yes ma'am.

zelzee said...

Chick flicks always got my husbands to thinking that I would be a 'sure thing' after it was done........

They were right!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Awwww. How sweet.

Nej said...

They don't want to watch them, because they don't want us to see them getting into the movie...and crying right along with us. :-)

Then we'd have two sniffling and snuffling people...in the mood to make out. :-)