So, I'm sure all of my readers (8) wonder what someone as funny, smart, and charming as I am does for a living.
Well, ponder on it no longer! I take care of an 89 year old man who was in the Navy for 30 years. He's also a born and bred, redneck southerner. (Is that redundant?)
His name is Sam and he thinks the KKK is a public service organization that helps folks out in times of need. He's completely politically incorrect on almost every subject & doesn't care. He's outspoken, hysterical, very intelligent and God bless him, he still wipes his own ass.
The reason Sam is coming up today for the first time (of many, I suspect) is because as I peruse the offerings of the blogospere this afternoon, he is sat next to me at the dining room table, patiently cleaning, oiling and adjusting both his binoculars and one of his many guns.
He just lifted the binoculars up to his face and peered at me.
He has cataracts and can barely focus on Walker, Texas Ranger each night as Chuck kicks everyone's ass while singing his own theme song.
But I -promise- y'all, if he sets down the binoculars and picks up the gun to shoot whatever or whoever has pissed him off today, I'm going to get my first exercise this year when I dive for the floor.
Because someone (possibly the yankee girl with the big butt & boobs and smart mouth) burnt his fucking grits this morning.
...and in the end
4 years ago