Hot Zibbs dedicated his Friday Send Off song to me. Whoot! I'm famous!
And all I had to do for this high honor is talk about eating a fart. Not so bad, really.
The song was Queen - Fat Bottomed Girls. And I had to laugh as he tried to not offend me by including that he didn't know if I were fat or not.
So, I thought I would do a little post 'things about me' and include a picture to answer his question. Luscious Prunella gave me the courage. Have y'all -seen- her bangin' pictures? Mercyfuckalive, she's gorgeous.
So here goes:
I have three tatoos. I do not regret any of them.
I used to have my tongue pierced. It hurt. I bled like a stuck pig and somehow curled my Phat Mama body into a fetal position.
Running the icy cold ball over my lips made the pain worth it. Mmmm.
I used to wear colored contacts to cover the true color of my eyes which is almost a pure gold. They're evil and strange looking.
I'm a great cook & I believe this is why my marriage has lasted 18 years. It's surely not for my BJ skills. If my gag reflex is triggered, I will puke on that tool of menace in a -second-.
I chat too much. Like hours, every day, for years. Even while I'm working.
I need to write like I need to breathe. I've had poetry published in a poetry book that nobody will ever read.
I'm a little bit into BDSM. Shhh. Secret.
I believe in God & I hope every day that he doesn't smite me for my multitude of sins - that I enjoy far too much to give up.
I believe that classic rock is food for the soul.
I'm an insomniac. I would rather be a nymphomaniac but that damned gag reflex keeps foiling my clever plan.
I'm afraid of the dark.
I keep praying that Vodka Mom will 'showcase' my blog on hers so that I get LOTS AND LOTS AND FUCKING LOTS of readers. But after reviewing some of my posts - I fear she never will put the potty mouth up in lights.
I wonder why Hot Zibbs doesn't click my 'Followers' button - what do I have to do, hokey pokey naked, what?
And I'll save the rest for my 100th post if I make it that far without blogger banning my blog o' filthy.
And now.. for the picture!
Yep, I'ma Phat Mama. ;P
...and in the end
4 years ago