Saturday, May 9, 2009

Happy Mothers Day, y'all!

My Best (humiliating/terrible/sappy) Mama Moments ~

- Being a single Mom for the first ten months of my daughters's life, I would cuddle her at nap time (mine) & tell her how beautiful and smart, wonderful and funny she would grow up to be. I told her that I would find the best Daddy for her, ever. All of it came true.

- When we were young & very poor, our gas was shut off which made it impossible for the water heater to work. Each night, I would boil pans of water, carry them to the tub and with some cold water added, give my kids baths. (A true redneck prevails in times of trouble.)

- One evening while taking my six year old son to wrestling practice, he took off his seatbelt, opened the door just as I was rolling to a stop and leapt (fell) out of the car. After I suffered a minor heart attack, I gathered him up, checked for injuries and asked if he were okay. When he replied that he was, I spanked his ass.

- When my daughter wanted to enter the 'Little Miss' pageant at a fair, I knew we didn't have enough money for the dress she would need. My Mother-In-Law found one for her at a garage sale - pink satin. I bought white beading and lace, then stayed up most of the night sewing it on by hand to dress it up.

- Years later, in the sexy cobra (minivan) of my dreams, rebel boy decided to throw one of his infamous tantrums. We were on a back road not far from home when I squeeled to a stop & told him to get out. He threw a phone and might have ripped the sliding door off its hinges, but he did get his butt out of my ride and walked for a bit before I decided to show some mercy.

- During the worst of my son's illness, we were once again, very poor. Every dime went for gas money to get him to Children's Hospital, medicine and bills. He & I were standing in a farmer's market, preparing to pay for a few items & I noticed him reading a can on the counter - telling the story of a man dying of cancer. A man that had a wife and two young daughters. And how they needed help paying for groceries. Colton looked up at me and quietly asked for some money to put in the can.

I knew we didn't have much ourselves but the fact that my ten year old son, critically ill and suffering himself, wanted to help someone else made me realize that I couldn't refuse. I handed him $5 to put in that can and we both left there smiling.

- Also during his illness, darling bitchy bitch, only twelve years old, would go get his packaged injections for me and then hold her brothers hand while I gave him a shot into his stomach, every morning and night.

- One evening we were at Wal-Mart. Otherwise known as the seventh ring of redneck hell. Rebel Boy decided to throw another one of his awe-inspiring fits. I smacked him in the mouth. Never one to back down, God bless him, he only jerked his hand to his face and kept spouting off. I popped him one again & looked up at people passing by, my look saying clearly, "Go ahead, call the Po-Po but this kid is gonna learn not to show his ass before they get here, I promise."

Well, we lived in the south. And 'round these parts, folks just look at the problem child, tsk, look at their own bawling kid and say, "See, that little boy is getting what you got in aisle seven. Now shut your mouth before you get s'more."

- There came an afternoon when my sweet, shy, wonderful daughter decided to smart off to me. I'm not proud of this and I blame it on the shock, but before I knew what was happening, I smacked her in the forehead with Big Daddy's TV remote & put a crack through it. Right away, I rubbed the goose egg and apologized. Once I knew she was okay, I buried the remote in the cracks of the couch so he didn't use it on -my- forehead, for breaking it.

- Our son was told he would never play football, wrestle, ride motocross bike, or basically ever be a normal boy, again, by his Neurologists. A few years later, I was the Mama trying not to hyperventilate with worry while clapping the loudest for him as he did all of that, and more.

- There have been too many nights to count, when both of my kids have just sat with me and talked about their problems, their hopes and their dreams. To listen to the adults they are becoming always gives me a sense of wonder.

- To this day, Kendall at 18, Colton at 17, still come to sprawl across our bed where we all talk and laugh with one another.

There are a million more moments and memories - and I'm not sure if they make me an awesome Phat Mama or if they just make my kids the most amazing people I know. And as they become adults, two of my best friends.


Paula said...

Happy Mother's Day Mama!!!

Love you!


diane said...

Happy Mother's Day! Thanks so much for sharing your special moments. xo

bluntdelivery said...

hey. i don't know how i came across your blog... but i'm glad i did. i loved reading your stories. happy mother's day!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Happy Mother's Day! You've done a great job.

Dominica said...

happy M-day to you too Mama !!
Love the cuddle picture ; these moments get 'rare' when they hit puberty (I can tell cause India, my 12y old is going through it as we speak) so we enjoy those moments even more !!

a big 'mooooeeaaaaaah' to you (and I posted a sexy song for us ladies today !)

Dominica said...

Just read your entire post and wow, you deserve the best M-day ever !!
Wish I could just come over and hand you the biggest bouquet of flowers ever (and a big hug too)
Thanks for sharing these stories with us (cause they sound very intimite and private to me)

Peggy said...

Happy Mother's Day! Sounds like you're doing a fine job! :)

Cretin said...

Happy Mother's Day! Much love you.

Shawn said...

Great Mom's day post Phat.

Reminds me of when my Hippie Chick was just a little one and was really acting out. I remember yelling at her that she was stuck with me forever and that it could be bad or it could be good, it was up to her.

She remembers that fondly actually, she knew I meant that I would never leave her, no matter what. I still mean it.

Girl Interrupted said...

Every day should be Mother's Day for you :) Hope you have a wonderful time with your lovely family xx

otherworldlyone said...

Happy Mother's Day!

The Wal-mart true, so true!

zelzee said...

Happy Mother's Day Phat!

Didn't it seem those tantrum days lasted forever!!!
But, we got thru!

honkeie2 said...

See beating kids KNOW what respect is and still feel loved. Keep beating them until they love you back!

Vodka Mom said...

you are a KICK ASS mother.

for real.

Minka said...

Awesome memories! Your kids really must be amazing!

I think it's important to remember those important moments whether it's about cuddling in bed or sitting by a hospital one.

I can't really get it that you have problems paying hospital bills, but I realize it's real - I'm luclky enough to only know that from TV, though.

Have a great day! You deserve it!

~Sheila~ said...

What sweet memories you have. I love this post and jealous that I didn't think of doing it first.

That's ok. I'll just keep reminding my children of certain memories they way I did in my post.

Soda and Candy said...

Heartbreaking, heartwarming, laugh & cry stuff, P Mama.

You rock.